Silence is golden... or is it?

As a child I remember my teacher saying, 'silence is golden class'. Until now I never stopped to ask what this meant.

Upon some research, I learned it's an ancient proverb and roughly translates into, know when to speak and when to stay quiet.

This proverb made me think of 'silence' vs 'speak up' in the work environment. And what it means for leader's and the relationships they influence amongst people.

Relationships of any kind are built on a few things. If we think of our own relationships, what's the one trait needed to maintain healthy relationships? For me, it's, Trust.

But what does trust have to do with silence or speaking up?

Consider for a moment, how we build trust.

Positive psychology says, it requires a safe space, where the other person can be themselves without fear.

For leaders to create safety in the workplace, people must feel heard. A simple approach is to encourage open-two-way communication, from employees to management and vice-versa. Another option is engaging in collaborative conversations.

So how can leaders influence collaborative conversations.

Employee voice

One method, that is gaining traction internationally, and proving instrumental in employee wellbeing practice, is to foster systems that include Employee voice.

You might ask, how do we include employee's in decisions, without prolonging the outcome of results.

The answer, by incorporating micro- structures for employees to dialogue with decision makers and removing obstacles that blur and sometimes obstruct clear communication, ultimately restricting critical thinking in decision making.

What's vital is that employee's feel safe to express their views. Remember one of the elements of building trust was, 'a safe space'.

Mirco-structures, systems, and policies are meaningless if the environment people work under, is punitive.

And punitive leaders, aren't always transparent. Retribution could look like, freezing someone out, overlooking them for promotions or even isolation.

Safe space

People are highly perceptive; this is part of human behaviour. In social interactions, if we perceive the other person to be disingenuous, our intuition leads us away from that person, out of fear and uncertainty.

David Rock’s SCARF model provides clarity on human behaviour in social environments; most importantly the power of threat vs safety in perception.

In conclusion

Silence may have been effective for my teacher, in the school setting. The goal for achievement was shared with everyone, and we understood the purpose. In organizational environments the purpose isn't always clear or translated into achievable goals, and this creates uncertainty.

As a people and development professional, I’ve mediated conflict between leaders and teams in different sectors. I found that collaborative conversations were the most effective approach to repair relationships and build trust. It does, however, require time and effort from leadership, but the reward is so much more valuable. Especially when you begin to see the difference in people’s behaviour at work.